tonights gonna be rough

We Talk And Talk About Our Problems And No Matter How Much We Talk Things Never Change, People Are Who They Are. Some Sad Things Come Up And Almost Make Me Think That It Would Be Nice To Change. Its Simple If I Did Let That Happen Alot Would Be Different, Damn My Whole Life Would Be Different With That Choice.anyway Its Nice Talking To An Angle When In All Terms You Are A Demon, Makes U Feel Needed Or Like U Have A Point. Not Many People Have The Heart To Say The Things My Angle Said To Me Tonight, Makes U Think About All The Things We Are Doing, Compared To What We Could Do...maybe That Angle Did Something For Me, Cuz Not Many Girls Got The Guts To Sit Me Down And Say What She Said...damn, The More I Think About It The More Amazed I Get...so Lets Go With Her Being Right, Even If She's Not I Have An Obligation To See. We All Got A Point U Just Gotta Find It.

Many men, wish death upon me
Blood in my eye dawg and I can't see
I'm trying to be what I'm destined to be

Many men, many, many, many, many men
Wish death 'pon me
Lord I don't cry no more
Don't look to the sky no more
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on my soul
Somewhere my heart turned cold
Have mercy on many men
Many, many, many, many men
Wish death upon me

Some days wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain
Joy wouldn't feel so good, if it wasn't for pain
Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard
It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred

Its One Of The New Moments In Life It Seams, Being Here And Doing These Things Its Just Not Fun. And I Cant Seam To Get Past That, But Man I Just Don't Want To Become One More Person Paying Rent. Thats Not Something I Will Be Able To Handle; In Life If U Cant Be Happy With What U Are Doing Then The Answer Is Simple, Don't Do It. Live In A Manner In Which U Enjoy Even If Its A Hard Life. People Seam To Choose Who They Become And Its Clear What I Wish To Become, Just An Other Person Walken Around The World Enjoying What I See. Even Being At The Bottom I Can Find Things To Make Me Happy Every Day...now Maybe I Smoke To Much Pot, And Maybe I Eat Alot Of Ex And Shrooms But Thats Just Something I See As Who I Am. Its Nice Being Able To Look At The World In A Brighter Light, Some things Give U New Eyes And Things Change...its Tricky And To Troublesome To Explain...so I Wont. Anyway Back To My Point, Minus A Very Few Things I'm Happy With My Life, Now I May Want To Die But Thats Just B/c I Do Agree That I've Done Everything I Need To Do, And To Die Would Be One Hell Of An Adventure, Would It Not? Alas When I Look At In Hind Sight I Will Never Actually Kill My Self, Now I Will Become Some Sort Of Modern Day Beast And Eventfully The Cops Or Some Drug Lords Will Kill Me, But Thats What I Want...that To Me Seams Like A Life Full Of All The Things I Enjoy, Money, Sex, Drugs, Power, And Just A Bit Of Love. Now Don't Take This The Wrong Way, We Fight To Become Things Like This And When U Fight For What U Are And Bleed For It, When U Walk Away Living From Shit We Should Have Died Doing(And For Me Thats A Wide Range Of Shit) Then Thats Who We Are. Not Much Is Going To Take Me Down But I Cant Wait For The Man That Does.

 Aside From These Blogs I Don't Real Have Much To Talk To, And Its What I Find Lets Me Get The Worst Of The Shit In My Head Out, Some things Don't Have A Point And They Are Just Randomized Thoughts Formed That In The End Make A Complex Mixture Of Emotions To Make A Broken Man. Thats All This Is So As The World Turn, Im'a Let My Blunt Burn.

I havnt done this thing in ages....oh well, I'm not really feeling this anyway...this blog page is now closed do to the fact that i dont care enough to keep it up...bye bye

Yours truly

A. Blake W.

This Is My Last Post, I Leave In The Morning To Go To Basic And Do That Starting A New Life Thing And I Have A Few Things To Say To A Few People..

Kassie-chan...i Love U And I'm Going To Come Back And Be Your Date For Senior Prom And I Mean It, And I Wish U The Best With Things At Home, I Know Your Stressed And I'm Sorry. I Did Have Alot Of Fun With U This Summer And I Will Miss U Tons Babe.

Chases... U Fucker, Your Like My Brother Man And Ill Miss U, And U Where Right, I Don't Have Anyone Else To Spend 3 Or 4 Days Sitting In One Spot Watching Anime With (Long Live The Ninja!!!!) And Doing Not A Damn Thing All Summer, I Loved The Time We Spent Together And I'm Glad We Did. And Good Luck With That Girl Of Yours, Be Good To Her And Love Her Man, Cuz U Both Need Each other And U Make Each other Happy...i Love U Man...

Austin... I Don't Know What To Say About U, I Love U And Good Luck At School This Year... Thats All I Have To Say, If I Said More U Would Know Something Was Wrong And We Cant Have That Now Can We.

John... Go To School And Be Your Self And Don't Let Anyone Tell U Other Wise

Caitlin... Well Babe I Wish We Could Have Been Together But Alas Me Going Away Put A Blunt And Harsh Stop To That And I'm Sorry Cuz I Wanted To Be With U, Seeing As How U Where So Much Like Me It Just Worked And We Where So Evil Together And Those Thing We Did To People Where Just Great, I Will Never Forget It And I Wont Forget U Cuz I Will Come Back For U And Ill Smack U Very Hard If Your Still Being Stupid (And U Know What I'm Talking About)...well Loves U Babe And Talk To U As Soon As I Can

Skye... Thank U For Understanding And Just Being There To Talk To When There Was No One Else To Talk To. And U Better Move To Huntington So We Can Hang Out More Cuz Your Great Girl, Don't Let Anyone Tell U Different, And If They Do Say It Then They Are Just Stupid Ass Monkey Maggots That Should Die...teehee...love U.

Ashley... Its Hard To Say I Don't Still Care So Ill Just Say This, I Hope U Become Happy One Day And I'm Sorry Things Didn't Work With Us, Its Just The Way Life Goes I Guess... I Still Love U I Cant Lie About That, But People Change And We Just New To Much And Things Stoped And For That I Am eternally Sorry... I'll Miss You.

And Thats It, I Have Few People In My Life, But The Ones I Do Have I Love And Thats All That Matters I Guess...ill Talk To U All In About 6 To 8 Weeks... And Even Though This Has Been Troublesome To Do I Wanted U All To Know I Cared Just A Lil Bit..hahaha...well Im Out

Yours Truly
A. Blake Williamson

she makes it sweeter than the sun
i get too tight i come undone
i bow my head to confess
the temple walls are made of flesh
runs up my arms 'till i'm on track
itches my skin right off my back
i'll heal your wounds
i'll set you free
i'm jesus christ on ecstacy

a thousand lips a thousand tongues
a thousand throats a thousand lungs
a thousand ways to make it true
i want to do terrible things to you

Sometimes... 

You can cry untill there is nothing wet in you. 

You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures.

 You can pray all you want, to what ever god you think will listen.

And, still, it makes no difference... It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you...

And you know that if it ever did relent

It would not be because it cared

Lets See, Right Now Its Thursday.... This Gives Me Friday, Saturday, And Sunday To... Well Be Free, Then Monday At 11:30... I Leave... I Leave So Hard core. Its Kinda Sad When I Sit Back And Think About It... Leaving Everyone And Just Doing Something New Like This, But Then I Sit Back And Think A Little More And I Remember All I Ever Felt Here Was Greef And Sadness And It All Makes Me Bitter On The Inside... Don't Get Me Wrong I Do So Love 2 Of U, But Austin And John Are Not What I Am Bitching About... Its Just This Place And The People In It Are In Some Way Always Fucked Up, And I'm Equally Fucked But I Can See It And Thats What Gets Me...stupid, Illogical, pain full Monkeys That Make My Brain Hurt, I Make My Brain Hurt...everything Makes My Brain Hurt... This Is Shit, Did U Know That?... I Mean Lets Think About It, No Matter How Good I Do The Goal Will Stay The Same, Money, House, Reproduce And I Hate It... If I Become A Bum The Goal Is Still The Same, And If I'm Rich, Still The Same Its Only Difference Is How I Look... You Know What I'm Pissed And I Don't Want To Go B/c In The Whole Fuck Of Things It Doesn't Matter, Its Just A Means To Getting What I Want In A Less Harder Fashion... I Lost My Point Somewhere But U Know What?... I Don't Care

You know, i have 6 days left and all i can think about is cutting my fucken wrist wide open... i fucked up, i really did, i lost her and now i just have my self to live for and u know what, its cool, but i dont want to..i really liked the thoughts i had, they kinda kept me going, but now its like i kinda just want to...well give up,...man this sucks

damn that was fun...i've never seen so many little ones get as stoned as they where last night, it was a sight to see....we had a hyper pup and someone on a D&D adventure where there wasnt 0ne, then there was the music and that was fucken A....This was a nice little bash to go away on. Made my ass smile, well not my ass its self but my face at least. And u know what, me and John are hanging out again tonight, only this time its just me and him and we are playing games and watchen anime...so it should be fun...peace out all and much love from Me